As a result, there are often times when you don’t recognize when your behavior towards people of color veers into problematic territory. the world, you must admit, you have no clue what it means to be racially discriminated against. You mean well when it comes to race relations but, as a white man in. You’re good guys, I know this to be true. I’m talking to you ― the cisgendered, white, gay men out there who hold no ill will towards minorities (especially black and brown ones) but somehow have never found themselves in bed with one. I’ve never been one to throw that word around casually and even though I’m sure there are some that word would fit like a glove, I’m not talking to them. You just aren't comfortable being intimate with them so you avoid it at all costs.Before I begin, I want you to understand that I’m not calling all of you racist. It's not that you don't trust people of the opposite sex.
How about that guy who all your friends are so jealous that you're dating and when he asks you over one night to watch a movie and have dinner, you say, "No." Any date in public is easy, but alone at his place? Nope. It just "doesn't feel right." You know what I mean? When that girl you've been seeing casually asks you upstairs after a date, and you know you should say, "Yes." Instead, you make an excuse, and even though she's gorgeous, you don't want to get her into bed. You are nervous and unsettled when it comes to being in bed with someone of the opposite sex. It makes you nervous, and not because it's your "first time." Then, there are others who avoid being alone or in bed with someone of the opposite sex altogether. There are those who try to be with someone of the opposite sex, and it just isn't very exciting, as we discussed earlier. If that person is "safe" and is the same sex, maybe you need to be more honest with who you are, and you might be gay. Maybe it's nothing, but more times than not you are more likely to first fall for someone who is safe. If you have that one friend of the same sex that you've secretly had a crush on for so long you can't even remember when it started, then you may need to start questioning your homosexuality.
Others? Their first love or first crush was of the same sex. Is that friend of the opposite sex? For some it is. You fall for them because you know them better than anyone. I think the first person you let yourself love is always a friend. They are your person!ĭo you find that you are a little jealous when they are in a relationship? Do you miss them and wish you were with them? Have you ever looked at them and known, if it were ever an option, that you would date them in a heartbeat? You have that friend that you do EVERYTHING with. If you are defensive or are going out of your way to make people believe you are straight, then maybe that's something to look at. If you're straight you shouldn't have to defend yourself and if you're gay you shouldn't either. She just wasn't willing to admit it to herself yet.ĭo you get frustrated when someone assumes your gay or that you think someone of the same sex is attractive? Do you go out of your way to make sure you dress like someone who is straight would dress? Do you find yourself putting on a front? Why is that? What she didn't realize, is that she was gay. My friend went as far as growing her hair out so that she could avoid this issue. She would go on and on after we left about how she "wasn't gay" and didn't know why "she just assumes that I'm gay because I have short hair. We would go out as a group, and the waitress at one restaurant would always try to pick her up. They assume you're gay for whatever reason and you get so frustrated!
Do you get frustrated when people assume that you're gay? And it's not because you are a man who can dress well or a woman who loves sports and is athletic.